As almost every American and anyone who uses the internet knows, in 2005 Stephanie Meyer published a novel titled "Twilight" about a human girl who falls in love with a vampire while they are both attending the same high school. The popularity of said novel figuratively exploded a couple of years after it's release, and soon every girl was talking about werewolves and vampires and the smexiness that said creatures possessed. A movie version was released in 2008 which drove the already not-so-shy fanbase to even higher numbers. Soon girls didn't even have to be literate to know who these book characters were and who deserves Bella more.
And then, the backlash.
Men and women all over the world noticed the growing popularity of this novel/movie series that wasn't very thought-provoking or interesting and over-all what many intelligent and/or well-read people would consider "stupid" and "shallow". And thus, like the ever-so mature and superiorly intellectual people they were, they decided to take their complaints to the internet.
And thus, a bitch fest commenced.
People began to make millions of garish complaints and tacky stickers and avatars saying clever phrases such as "Real Vampires Don't Sparkle" and "Screw Twilight" and pictures of pale hands holding fruit that is NOT an apple in order to prove some sort of point that I have yet to identify. And so, to all of those that say "Real Vampires Don't Sparkle", I have a message for you.
It's time for the Truth Bomb of the Week, folks! Are you ready for it? Are you sure? It's pretty intense, so you might want to sit down for this one. It could dissolution you of everything you hold true to your heart and threaten your very core beliefs. You seated? Okay here it goes.
"Vampires aren't real."
GASP! Shock and horror! Now I know this is upsetting to say the least for most of you, but I know your tough internet roughians so you can handle a little criticism. Mythical creatures such as vampires and werewolves had been written from many different perspectives since they were first conceived by God knows who, as references of vampires have been charted back to the early 1700s. Many books have been written about them and they have been represented in hundreds of different forms. So let me just get this straight. You are okay with them being bats, cannibals, molesters and dead... but make one pretty and sparkly and WHOA. That's where you draw the line?
Okay. So an Arizona soccer mom wrote a trashy vampire novel, and so the vampire has marble skin. Who gives a damn? They're not real! And I'm SURE that those saying this are Vampire specialists and NOT cranky teenagers who think that Edward is a pussy. That would be ridiculous. Quite frankly I think this whole series is extremely overhyped on both sides of the spectrum and honestly I can't even find the source of the controversy. Believe it or not, stupider things have been written on paper. Ridiculous novels are written all across the globe every year so why does this one get so much attention? This book is not brainwashing the youth of America. It's a stupid book, they'll get over it. Honestly, are any people you know in their 30s and 40s still obsessed with the things they were obsessed with as a teenager? There may be a few special cases out there but more the most part the whole "dumbing down the youth of the nation" bit is just a bullcrap. I am really very tired of hearing about it, so I guess what I'm trying to say is...
QUIT YOUR BITCHIN'.
There you go, Twilight fans. I made an argument for your case because you guys are too dumb to make one for yourselves. And now, with everyone insulted, I'm gonna go eat some chicken tenders. Bye now.